I’ve always been a big life-long learner. In fact, I didn’t stop learning after earning two masters degrees. I raced into the corporate world after college to learn as much as I could on the job. I also took as many training courses as I could. However, there’s one thing I wish I had learned way before going to school that could have helped my well-being considerably and possibly have prevented my collapse from exhaustion.
It’s what I learned at Arianna Huffington’s Rise & Thrive event.
Anyone who’s read Arianna Huffington’s book, Thrive, knows that well-being is a big part of redefining success. Success can no longer be defined as having money and power. We have to take care of ourselves and our well-being as well.
So I wondered, when I attended Arianna Huffington’s Rise & Thrive workshop, if we would learn something new that her book Thrive doesn’t already teach.
We did, in fact, learn something the book doesn’t cover. We learned about mindset. Without it, we won’t make success happen and our well-being can suffer. It is, in fact, the biggest driver to success.
More precisely, it’s our beliefs or what they call limiting paradigms that hold us back from being successful. Our minds latch on to what we believe to be true.Those beliefs get reinforced through the Reticular Activating System (RAS) in our brain. This RAS acts like a filter for stimuli (what we hear, see and sense). For example, if we don’t feel valued our brain specifically looks for clues of that in our environment. Because of this system, we literally believe what we see.
Through their research they’ve found that we have seven fundamental limiting paradigms:
- No matter what I do, I can do better.
- I am not good enough.
- I don’t deserve success.
- I am not safe.
- I am not valuable.
- I am alone/abandoned.
- I am not worthy.
Instead, we should be thinking positive paradigms, but there’s a catch. Can you suddenly wipe out years or a lifetime of thinking and believing these things? You can’t. You can’t just wake up one day and suddenly switch over 100% to believing the positive paradigms which are:
1. I am enough and everything is good.
2. I am good enough.
3. I deserve success.
4. I am safe.
5. I am valuable.
6. I am supported.
7. I am worthy.
You have to start building these new beliefs into your life. You have to retrain your brain – every day, so the old beliefs become weaker and the new ones become stronger – even if at first you don’t believe them. And here’s how:
1. Every time a limiting paradigm comes up, catch yourself and turn it around. So, instead of saying “I’m not good enough” turn it around to “I am good enough.”
- Reflect at the end of your day and notice what limiting paradigm came up for you. Ask yourself, “what would I like to do differently next time?”
3. Write down the positive beliefs that you need to work on just before bedtime.
Start with one of these three steps. And build stronger positive beliefs about yourself. Why wait any longer for more happiness and success?